Living in a Void

Living in a Void

What should you do when you feel like you have nowhere to turn? And the reason you have nowhere to turn is that you have pushed everyone away, or shut out anyone that has tried to care.

I don’t even know what is wrong or why I feel down, just something doesn’t feel right, so if I could talk to someone, I have nothing to say because I can put into words how I am feeling.

I feel empty, I feel void of emotions, I feel my head won’t stop chattering to itself, I feel like my stomach is in knots, and all of this seems so trivial when others are dealing with so much more. Others have real problems, real illnesses to deal with, I have nothing except my own self pity.

Which in turn makes me think what’s the point? Why be here, alive, what is the point in life? Yes I have children, a husband, a nice house, a car, a garden, so I have much of what others want, and think would make their lives happy, but it doesn’t. I won’t do anything drastic, I could only do that if someone had a magic wand and could make everyone forget about me. But, at the same time that makes me feel trapped.

I’m not happy, but I don’t know what would make me happy. I’m a coward as I won’t do anything to get away, I’ll plod along with my uneventful life, and I will put on my mask to say ‘I’m fine!’.

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