Schools Out for Summer

Schools Out for Summer

So school is out for summer, something that I think most kids will be very happy about. 6 weeks of playing, holidays, ice-creams and no routine. I on the other hand, whilst I am kind of happy, (no strict get ups, not rushing out of the house everyday), I also feel a sense of dread, I have 3 children to keep amused and occupied and try and not let ww3 break out in the house.

I’ve been doing okay over the last couple of months, I’ve been busy with birthdays and parties, and also working. However it’s all caught up on me and now I feel exhausted, I just want to sleep, which isn’t going to be helpful whilst looking after 3 children. I can see that the house is a mess and I need to get sorted and tidy up, but I am lacking in motivation to get it done.

This is the problem with my depression, it gnaws away at me, it brings me down, it stops me getting organised, it makes me want to just hide away and hope that everything will sort itself out for when I come back. Once it has done that, it then starts to tell me how useless I am, how pathetic I am that I can’t even keep the house tidy.

I’ve sat at the computer for the last 1.5 hours mostly playing cards, it is such a waste of time, while all around me is a mess. I know I need to fight back, stop it taking over again, I need to get motivated anyway I can and give myself the chance to enjoy being with the kids for a while.

So this is it, a promise to myself that I am going to fight this stupid illness and battle through the summer, and hope that my kids have a great time away from school.

 

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2 thoughts on “Schools Out for Summer

  1. I stumbled upon your blog whilst attempting to start up my own on Mumsnet. I have been reading your posts backwards from present day and am on 28 Jan 2014 so far. I feel like after having a mental health problem since i was a teenager I have finally found a kindred spirit. I have felt relief, cried and felt angry all in one afternoon. I’m rather exhausted now!
    ‘ I want to write, I need to write, I have so many thoughts and questions going round my head that I need to get out!’. You wrote what I have been feeling for years but felt to dizzy with sadness and cotton wool head to ever finally knuckle down to starting. THANKYOU!!!!!!!!!

    1. Hi Geraldine,

      Thank you for taking the time to comment, I’ve been writing so infrequently recently that I’m not sure how many readers I still have.

      I am sorry that you have suffered with mental illness, it’s something I wouldn’t wish on my worse enemy. I’m glad that my words have helped you, I often find reading other peoples thoughts and feelings help me understand my own better.

      Feel free to message me if you feel the need to ‘chat’.

      Take Care X

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