We’ve just had 10 days away on a camping holiday, something which I know I enjoy, I enjoy being outside and being away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, and just being able to chill. Except this year it didn’t feel as relaxing, the kids bickered quite a lot and I was constantly tired. We had relaxing times, time on the beach and walks round various castles, but I never felt completely rested.
The children were definitely hard work this year, FJ seem to be very angry if he didn’t get his own way, and even after a good day on the beach his mood would soon switch to anger when we got home. TJ is now out of nappies, but this meant several issues with not going to the toilet when needed (no major accidents, just the pressure of her saying NO all the time!), we also didn’t take the pushchair and so often she was tired and wanted carrying. AJ wasn’t too bad I guess, but the stropy teenager side of her came out (she is only 10!)
My tiredness seems completely related to the increase in Quetiapine, I’m now on 250mg slow release, and I was asked to give it at least 3 months, that time is almost up and I have seen no improvement in how I feel tiredness wise. Yes I can say that my anxiety is better than it was, as it had become almost unmanageable, but this tiredness is just not workable. It’s effecting everyone in the family, NJ was up first nearly everyday of the holiday (we normally alternate), apparently I kept kicking him too as I was twitching a lot, I am getting grumpy and taking it out in the kids, and also I don’t feel like I have a life. By 10pm I’m wanting to go to bed, which wouldn’t be too bad some of the time, but it would be nice to be able to watch a film and have a drink (something else I can’t do as it makes me even more tired).
My mood has always been effected by how tired I am, but at the moment I never get that feeling of being refreshed after a sleep of any length. I used to, before all this started, I would wake up and feel refreshed and would want to get up once I was awake, now I can happily turn over and go back to sleep. Unfortunately with 3 kids aged 10 – 3, that is not a practicable option.
I know with depression and anxiety tiredness is part of it all, but I am fed up with being tired, not having the energy to get up and do the things that need doing. I’m fed up with just wanting to switch off and not have to deal with fraught children fighting with each other.