Proud of Myself!

Proud of Myself!

Well for once I am feeling really pleased with myself.

Today I actually went to the toddler group in the village, that I have been saying I would go to for the last 5 years!! I did need someone to hold my hand (metaphorically!) to get me through the door, but it was fine. It wasn’t scary, no one looked at me as if I shouldn’t be there, the kids were not of too high a volume and my 2 enjoyed themselves. To top that I achieved it without getting anxious at all, no shakes no sweating no panicking! It has made me really pleased that I have achieved something that even a month ago I just would not have believed I could do.

On the flip side of this, (and something which I have laughed about) I was all of a fluster, shaking like a leaf and worried about going to clinic. This was not a trip that I had to do, it was something I was choosing to do to see how TJ was doing now she was 10 months. I also know the Nursery Nurse very well as she had been visiting me almost weekly since July, and I also know the Health Visitor. So why was I anxious? There seems no sensible answer so I told the Nursery Nurse and had a good laugh about it, that something so familiar could set me off.

I have also managed this week to watch TV without fiddling with my phone, something that I have been doing for months, even when its been a really good programme.

For me these 2 achievements show me that I am improving, and things are definitely going in the right direction. I feel for the first time in possibly over a year like ‘me’ (not sure who ‘me’ is yet!) and feel that I can begin to plan for the future and start enjoying life again. I am sure there will be more down days, but at least I can look back on today and know that I did achieve something this week .

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11 thoughts on “Proud of Myself!

  1. I’m so pleased you have seen some light at the end of the tunnel. I have quietly followed many of your posts on BC. As a mummy to a 10 month old residing in Yorkshire and also having depression, I can very much relate to a lot of what you say.

    Stay strong x

  2. Well done for this week, and for blogging about it.
    Perhaps the ability to recognise the ups is as much an achievement as actually having them, if you know what I mean.

  3. Well done! It sounds like you are definitely heading in the right direction! Hopefully the sun will come out this weekend. That always makes me feel better 🙂

  4. What a fantastic post! Have been reading some of your previous posts and just wanted to say that you write so eloquently and powerfully about something that can be so difficult to communicate to others. Am so glad that you are feeling more like ‘you’. Fingers crossed with the coming of spring and sun there will be many, many good days ahead.

I hope you enjoyed reading this post, I would love to know what you thought.

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