I have, on several occasions in my life, had very good will power, enabling me to give ‘things’ up. When I was 11(ish) I stopped sucking my thumb (I know, quite late in life!), at 16/17 I stopped biting my nails, at 23 I stopped eating rubbish and lost weight for my wedding and at 26/27 I stopped smoking. When I was expecting all 3 children I stopped drinking, stopped eating runny eggs and the cheeses as I was told and cut out peanuts. With my last pregnancy I even managed to cut out chocolate and all sweet things as I had gestational diabetes! I have also managed several times to be careful what I eat and do some exercises.
Now however, I find myself in a strange place I seem to have no will power, I spend my days eating food that is high in sugar and low in healthiness! I want to lose a few pounds and tone up a bit as my clothes are starting to get a little tight, and I refuse to buy bigger clothes! I have also been drinking wine, which at the moment I really shouldn’t as my mental health is not great and alcohol is a depressant, but I just can’t stop myself. I know the things I SHOULD be doing but my will power seems to have taken off somewhere and I am unable to find it, but then I wonder if it’s all down to motivation and if I found motivation I would find will power hiding there too?
Where my will power has totally let me down is with self-harm, I cut myself for the first time in September 2011, I managed to stop at the end of October 2011 but 15 months later at the end of January (i think) this year I cut myself again, and have done a few times since. It’s not something that is easy to explain with the why I do such a silly thing, and this post isn’t about that, but it’s almost like an addiction.
I am now at a point where I seem to have no will power to be healthy no will power to not self-harm (although have managed a week without) and no motivation to be healthy or stop being daft! But, are will power and motivation the same thing?
Whether they are the same or not, I have definitely mislaid them both, if anyone has any good suggestions on how to entice them back I am all ears!